crapster of a day again... and it started out almost okay!

i'm really ready to take a break from all of this... i think i filled my plate with more than i can chew, and its right about this time that i feel it the most!

i'm starting to bore myself with all this whining, but hey somebody has to listen to it.. might as well be me!

all i need is to be more firm. simply, to make a decision quickly, painlessly, without analyzing the millions of other possible choices... just close your eyes and pick!

i think eugene is right about something - i do have the eastern european thinking in me! i still want to be everywhere, meet everyone, do everything. thats why im in this crappy place now - i wanted to do everything, now i have the opportunity to do it.. obviously i can't because i have never been faced with this volume of work, responsibility and stress - and i can't live up to my already high expectations... so i collapse on the inside, struggle to keep a straight face on the outside, but my lack of energy is evident thru my incomplete work.. i dissapoint others.. so i further dissapoint myself...

(wow... its scary how good i am getting at figuring out these diabolic, diseased, faulty patterns, vicious circles in my life. it kinda becomes a hobby now! how twisted and ironic is that? i enjoy making my existence look as bleak as possible! Go Cris!)

so what do i do now? drop everything in the middle of the road and run back under my mommy's skirt? or take it like a champ, keep on moping to my friends, to myself (via this wonderful tool!) and not change anything?

suggestions are always welcome... you will be rewarded with a (virtual) cookie! ha! i'm too funny for 1 am....

eh... we need changes, need to implement new structures, programs. need to revise the fundamentals... need to bs in another direction!

enough ramblings

good nite all,
may the good spirits be with you tonite, always and forever!
C lite