okay, i want to break the chain of depressing blogs... they all follow the same pattern: oh i feel funky, oh i have no self esteem, oh what to do? ...and thats where it stops! ha! sure i can play this game all day every day. why don't i attach a solution to all of these issues? that wouldn't be as much fun, right?

so why don't i talk about my good times as well? hmm lets see, i had a pretty good time last nite. i felt cared for, i felt loved.. and most importantly this came from a person that i admire, that i look up to (hahaha... funny cause the man is prolly 7 feet tall or something! but you know what i mean... even though not always- he does have his 'glitches'). yeah , so the fact that he appreciates me in my fullness (brains plus looks) makes me happy, whole. i wanna pet myself on the back and say 'good job cris! we've come a long way, but hey! be lookin good!'

so, now that i know that, maybe i should take a break from the whining and actually enjoy the results of my hard work... i really have come a long way! ha! who knows? maybe now i have finally started to blossom into the flower that i shyly dream of!

one of the great things about blogger is that i can discreetly peak into other people's lives... as much as i want to find in myself who i want to be.. i still want to see how others are, 'what are my options?' kind of thing... its amazing how many people find relief in this - in writing down their thoughts. doesn't that mean that none of us have that person that we are so comfortable with that we can share all of the things that we put in our blog? is it loneliness that pushes you toward this hobby? i mean there are all kinds of blogs out there: the social blog (for friends to read, catch up on your life without actually talkin to ya) the 'opinionated' blog (vent your ideas on hot issues) and then personal blogs (you pour your heart out, unveil your uttermost secrets, just to see them written down)... and there maybe be more. but just looking at these three what is it that they all have in common? they bypass the interaction! it builds a higher fence around you, and helps you live with only yourself more comfortably.

no wonder there's so much drama out there, we are interaction-retarded! i mean you can deal with yourself, but plug another unknown in the equation and things get overwhelming! has human kind been like this forever, or is this a product of our 'developed' society?

(ha! i feel a little like Carrie in Sex&thecity, writing my bang question to be resolved/analyzed during the show)

i guess a more practical question is: "is there a way out of this 'retardiness'?" can history help us this time around? Anthropologists everywhere, gather your strengths and figure this one out! because if you do... oh, the world would be a different place!

okay, i think i have beaten enough around the bush . i NEED to study for these exams. ah, school.. another rich subject! but don't even get me started on that subject or... i'll be here for too long of a time!


done. i'm out..

uuh, but before i go, i just wanna say that i'm so excited i finally (re)found thinkspot! Carissa, if you are reading this, i hope this doesn't freak you out!! haha, i know it sounds a bit stalkerish but no! your blog was one of the first blogs that i found once i started prancing around blogger and i enjoyed the simplicity, the calmness, the... lack of preconceptions, fakeness and so on. and the pictures!! and your cute little son! so i hope you don't mind if i'll just say hi once in a while! :)